Your Daily Bread

It's fairly obvious that things are 'tits-up' (excuse the frank exchange but it's Friday and strong words are required in this instance) when a big consumer food change offers a ‘no-bread sandwich’. The definition of a ‘sandwich’, as stated by the Oxford English Dictionary, is 'two or more slices of bread or the like with a layer of meat, fish, cheese, etc., between each pair'. By removing the bread element, the sandwich becomes utterly devoid of meaning. It refers only to a ‘layer’ (of which you may take your pick - the sole requirement being that it's edible).

What is the explanation behind this no-bread sandwich? A global food chain wouldn't launch said ‘layer’ (admittedly it may consist of several different layers) to the Western world if it didn't think it was in demand. Since when did our daily bread become anything but?

The first time I ordered a panini in my local Italian deli, I was met with the question: oil and salt? At which point, I politely declined thinking that such a response was rather odd. As a result, I found myself tucking into a sandwich comprising solely of bread and meat (along with a splattering of vegetable - I like my greens). Now whilst it had all the necessary components (bread being one of them thankfully) it was rather bland, in spite of the locally sourced ingredients. The Italians you see, don't consider a sandwich as something requiring butter, marge, mayonnaise or something in between (no doubt full of sweeteners but without the guilt of calorific content). No, these frills are deemed unnecessary and rightly so. Rather, the locals approach this lunch-on-the-run option in a very sensible way. To break it down - the external layer of carbohydrate provides energy, the internal layer provides the protein, a dash of olive oil provides good fat and a sprinkling of salt is particularly helpful in a climate where you tend to sweat a lot. So why the fuss for the rest of us? Why has the much-loved sarnie gone out of fashion and why has this no-bread option become the new requirement on our daily-lunch menu?

The answer? Well, who to approach first? The much-lauded celeb dietician? Or perhaps Mr Motivator? I've heard he's had a come-back. Forget the tub of Ben & Jerry's, Bridget Jones 3 will reveal ol' loveable Bridget tucking into bread, and WHITE bread at that. The stark reality is that our previously-loved loaf has most women imagining themselves as the Michelin Man. Forget the French baguette, the Italian panini, us Anglo-Americans require the no-bread-sandwich. So where are the Parisians and Italians hiding these devilish carbs? Up their bras? The last time I looked these women had bodies to glorify, not shake a bread-stick at.