The rest of us can't fail to feel whole-heartedly inferior to the Italians when it comes to cooking. The kitchen is their passion, the cuore of the Italian home - us mere mortals can't possibly compete with their natural understanding of food. They have it, we don't - simple. Or so we're led to believe. The media delights in enforcing our deep seated insecurity. We're told that the Italians are glorified culinary geniuses who live on a daily diet of flair and creativity, whilst the rest of us stick to the (recipe) book and reach for a ruler to measure our pastry. And what's more, we lap it up and smack our lips afterwards - thank you very much paps.
The recent fad to hit our screens, is the birth of food porn which shows chefs semi-morphing into their supposed Italian counter-parts. We see them whispering sweet nothings to their veg, licking the spoon, puckering their lips (thanks Jamie), riding on a high of Foodtastic Heaven that we can only aspire to reach if we loosen up and get stuck in. Jamie tells us to ‘use our hands to toss and dress’, whilst domestic goddess Nigella Lawson teaches us the art of culinary seduction by recommending that we get our ‘fingers sticky’ if we want to find ourselves on the ‘winding road to vanilla heaven’.
Now I don't know about you, but I can't ever see my kitchen becoming the required backdrop to this show of theatre. Whilst I love and appreciate good food, the thought of dancing a jig around my kitchen, whilst waving my wooden spoon around like a magic wand, has me, well, giggling. So is this really what the Italians do to create their ‘pucker tucker’?
In a word, no. The kitchen in Italy is deemed a serious affair; it's far more black and white than we're led to believe. The Italians don't dance around their food, they just cook it. Yes, the Italian Mama may be held in god-like esteem and any Italian will always tell you that their mama does the best cooking in the world but it's just a process, a part of daily life. And what's more it doesn't require you to get all arty farty about it. Far from it, my Italian housemates religiously weigh out the pasta (making sure to stir it every three minutes when it’s cooking) and there are strict rules to adhere to: tomatoes take basil, linguine takes seafood etc. Get it? You better, because if you bend the rules, you're playing with fire. These rules make for a buon appetito. Bend them, and you'll have Italian Mamas shaking their heads from here to Naples.
I once had the pleasure (sorry, displeasure) of witnessing a tourist asking for a salami and cheese sandwich, at my local deli. The girls in the corner stopped gossiping, the work men openly turned and nudged their mates. The silly tourist, didn't understand that carpaccio goes with cheese (parmesan), prosciutto goes with cheese (mozzarella) but salami, with cheese? She didn't even specify which cheese she was after, mama mia!
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