Learning the Lingo

The other day, I was told that Italian is the second hardest language to learn (after Chinese). This claim may have no truth behind it whatsoever, and yes I could google it if I wanted to ascertain whether its fact or fiction, but I'm not going to. When you decide to learn a language you have to expect a roller-coaster ride of ups and downs; you have days (most often evenings, post-apperativo) when you can parli like the best of them, and others when you want to stamp your foot and say ‘but in English...!’ At these points, gratifying nuggets such as the above are like gold dust. You suddenly feel a whole lot of better if you believe your goal is something Bear Grylls would blanch at.

You see, learning a new language turns you into a whining, hollering baby. You constantly feel like you want to throw (sometimes catapult) your toys out of the pram and go running home to mummy, and your mother tongue. You become defenceless, and vulnerable, like Superman minus his fetching cape and oh so tight get-up (imagine him minus his leggings - knock-kneed, white, hairy legs…you get the picture.) Learning a language means starting from scratch. You actually need to think before you speak - something we rarely do in the fast paced world of the 21st century. For the first time, since you were a baby, you have to carve your own path.

This process is slow and requires lots and lots of baby steps - one after the other, after the other. When you tumble, mummy isn’t on hand to ‘make it feel better’. No, you have to pick yourself up and start again; something that requires stamina and a Mary Poppins-sized dose of patience. Yes there are grammar books to ease you through the trauma but languages aren’t static – they’re constantly evolving. As soon as a rule is written down, it’s broken in the next breath. And who wants to sounds like a grammar book anyway? Yes it may be rather sweet to sound like Romeo asking Juliet out on a first date, but when it comes down to the date itself, you want to be able to banter like the best of them and not sound like the Queen, taking tea.

So what do you do? You change. You have to. Patience is a necessity, not an unnecessary condiment on the side. And for the first time, in this fast paced-world, you learn the importance of being very, very humble. Without a cloak to hide behind, the raw nudity of exposure leaves you blushing like the English rose you really are.