Big boys don't cry or do they, dependent on where they are? In Italy, daily life is driven by emotion. Whilst the British are known to have a more temperate nature (critics would say bland) and the Germanic nations even more so (to the point of being deemed cold), the Italian heart takes priority. It is allowed to indulge itself, not when it's considered appropriate but whenever it fancies. Unlike the British, the Italians won't say that everything's fine and keep a 'stiff upper lip' (saving it for the privacy of their own homes) but will actively open the flood-gates, no matter what the environment. Whilst the stereotypical image of the Italian is one of passion (hands in the air etc) it should also extend to a cartoon-strip of other emotions, including sadness.
When asked how they are, Italians will often reply abbastanza bene meaning quite well. Most other nationalities would simply reply 'well' without even thinking. Not so with the Italians. Emotions aren't ever 'palmed off'. If things aren't well, they won't let you believe that they are. That would allow the person asking the question, far too easy a ride! The other day, I asked my colleagues how they all were and was surprised to be met with a series of male (bad). After questioning the reasoning behind this bleak response, they blamed the grey weather as a valid explanation. Apparently Italians are more sensitive to changes in their emotions because of the ever-changing climate. It affects their blood pressures you see. In their eyes, this explains many things. Have you ever wondered why the Southern Italians are particularly re-known for their fiery personalities? The weather's more prone to extremities in the south, that's why. The British climate on the other hand is very temperate which is reflected in the more passive, level-headed nature of the nation.
Whilst the logic to this might appear flawed to the most level-headed Brit, it can't be disputed that the Italians whole heartedly believe that emotions take hold of mind, body and soul. Grown men will weep over a badly pruned olive tree, lovers in the initial stages of a relationship will cease to function because of their inability to sleep (does he, doesn't he love me?) and seek solace in herbal teas to steady rising nerves. Yesterday, I found myself providing a shoulder to cry on for a very big boy as he wept over the break-down of his relationship. He cried solidly for three hours and remains red-eyed today (last sighting of him was on his way home to mama). In between sobs, he divulged that he'd had to call off the short-lived relationship because it hurt his heart too much. In any other country his masculinity might well be called into question, but emotion doesn't seek conclusions in Italy. Emotion simply 'is’. The boy in question is very masculine and very normal - he's just very Italian as well. The only conclusion to determine is whether such emotional freedom is a good or a bad thing. It might help to add that a recent post has been uploaded to this tortured boy's facebook wall: a clip of the song 'Love will kill you'.
I agree that there are cavernous differences between the emotional capabilities – or certainly the apparent emotional capabilities – of the British and those of the Italians especially where men are concerned. Personally, I am not enamoured by the stereotypical Stiff Upper Lip of us British, however I am equally not taken by the overt emotional expression of the Italians. Maybe, as in all things a balance is required: be healthy, show your emotions openly, but realise that there is a line, and crossing the line encroaches on your masculinity!
ReplyDeleteAs to whether such open emotional expression is a good thing or not, I suppose I am saying that it is, but only in moderation!